I used to answer questions every week over on Instagram, and I've stayed in the habit of saving the questions people ask me. I've been meaning to start answering them here, but I keep bumping them in favor of things that stay on theme. I'm going to try to work through a few each month.
As a general rule, I don't answer questions based on politics and social issues. I am not very attached to my opinions on these things, and I have no desire to wade into the chaos of a culture that refuses to acknowledge the nuance and difficulty of so many of the issues we are facing.
Some of these questions are serious, and some are more fun. I'll try to have a mix each time.
From reader Jay, who we will see on the cover of Rolling Stone someday, in response to one of the posts in April talking about thinking about ourselves less:
"Should we feel bad for the self-obsessed? Does pity do anyone any good?"
I believe we should feel bad for the self-obsessed in the same way we feel for someone with the flu or some other illness, because being self-obsessed is its own punishment. A relentless focus on ourselves leaves us feeling shaky and groundless because there's no foundation. It's like those old Bugs Bunny cartoons where he would keep stacking two pieces of wood onto each other into the sky to escape Elmer Fudd. It works in cartoons, but we need a foundation to build things on in real life. I do feel bad for people who live that way.
As far as pitying people, I don't believe that does anyone any good, including the person doing the pitying. There's an element of condescension or self-righteousness in pity; I think that's why we all seem to inherently reject it when it's offered to us by other people.
It's hard to think of pitying somebody without looking down on them a little, like the final scene in a movie when they're about to kill the villain or tyrant, and the good guy says something along the lines of "I pity you…".
I'm not a fan of pity - it was a poor choice of words.
"You don't seem like a normal Texan."
This is more of a statement, but there's a question sort of built into it.
I think I am more of a normal Texan than we see these days because our state has been hijacked by some pretty extreme people. I understand that the image of Texas these days is one of hardcore, far-right type types, but I do not think that image represents most of the people in the state.
It's one of the primary reasons I don't talk about politics or social issues. I spend time every week with people from very different groups (many marginalized) and belief systems. Depending on which side of our current social and political divide you fall on, you might think they are either:
Brave people standing against the tide of insanity sweeping our country.
Terrifying extremists who are destroying our country.
The thing is, you could apply either label to either group, and no one I know is either of those things. They're just regular people who have their beliefs and do their best to get along with everyone, including people who don't share their beliefs. They don't try to impose these on anybody else, and they can usually be friends with people who disagree with them. At the very least, they can be acquaintances and do not resort to attacking each other.
Because of our inability to consume anything without being entertained, only the loudest and most obnoxious voices make it into the broader media. These loud and obnoxious voices make the people they claim to be representing seem a lot worse than they are.
Overall, I think I am pretty Texan. I like seeing people be left alone so long as they aren’t harming others. I like seeing people start businesses and do cool things with their lives. I like knowing my neighbors and being there to help them when they need it. I like meeting new people at the grocery store and in gas stations. I like having this shared sense of identity of being Texan. I understand these things exist in other states, I just like them in Texas.
I was born and raised in New Mexico, but that highlights why I love so much about Texas. I go up to the little town I grew up in a few times s a year, and I'm always reminded of the things that make me appreciate living where I live.
So, I appreciate not being lumped in with the people who I see as being an embarrassment to the state I love, but I do not believe they are representative of the average Texan either.
As with everything I see in our political and social environment, I'm looking forward to the day when real people can have their voices heard instead of all of us having to listen to the people who seem to be Facebook comments come to life.
Does it bother you when people unsubscribe from your list?
It might, so I don't check if people are unsubscribing. I moved to Substack to write without worrying about what thousands of people thought, and this has been good. I want to remain authentic in my writing, so I try not to pay attention to who subscribes and unsubscribes. I don't actually even know where to check for that here on Substack. Â
I encourage people to unsubscribe if what I write has become another thing cluttering their inbox. There is so much information available to us these days and so many distractions vying for our attention; I don't want the things I write to become one of them. I put a lot of time and energy into this. If it's an annoyance to someone, I'd rather them focus on something that will be more useful for them.
That's it for this month. I appreciate the questions and suggestions for topics; please feel free to send them my way if you'd like to:Â james@jamesscotthenson.com
Take care.