Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by incompetence.
Hanlon's Razor
Bad Mind Reading
In the same way that we think we understand ourselves, we often think we understand other people better than we do.
In all my years of doing couples counseling, the biggest problem I saw wasn't about sex or about money; it was about partners being sure they knew why the other one was doing what they were doing.
She spends money all the time because she’s frivolous and doesn't care about our family's future.
He leaves the cabinet doors open to annoy me and show me that I can't tell him what to do.
She shuts down and stops talking anytime I bring up something she doesn't like because she knows she can't explain herself, so she ends the conversation. It’s a passive-aggressive ultimatum!
He only pays attention to me when he wants sex. He's too self-centered to even think of me otherwise.
I've heard different variations on these statements from dozens of people over the years. The idea that we can read minds and therefore “know” why other people do what they do applies to more than marriage. We do it to our roommates, we do it to our friends, we do it to our coworkers, we do it to our bosses, and we do it to people we've never even met.
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