Calm Can Be Annoying
I called an audible and set what I had written for this week's aside. I've had a lot of conversations with a lot of different people over the last week and, for all the shit I talk, I do care and want to be mindful of everyone.
I have practiced equanimity for so many years now that it is a natural part of how I live and is my first response pretty much everything that happens. This has benefited me in more ways than I can tell you, but I've also found that it is not helpful for people who are experiencing some kind of extreme emotional state, whether high or low.
I don't have a lot of highs or lows. I don't get excited about many things but I don't get disappointed either. This means I'm not much fun, but I am reliable. I've often said that I'm probably more useful than likable.
I think I'm getting better about accepting that.
I cannot be super happy when one team wins because I think about how the other team must be feeling and I feel bad for them. My wife almost strangled me when Texas Tech lost the national championship in the last few seconds because somebody missed a shot, and I said something about how happy the other team must feel.
It feels like this is one of those times where I need to keep my equanimity to myself. I care about everyone I meet, I care about everyone in my life, and I don't want to make things harder for any of them, and I don't want to rain on anybody's parade either.
We're going to pick up where we left off next week, for now here are a few things I wrote a long time ago:
Your Complete Introduction to Meditation