Alright.
I apologize for taking so long to get this out. I started it on New Year's Eve, but it was clear that the writing was bad and wouldn't get better, so I decided to postpone it.
COVID caught me off guard this time. I spent the first few days unable to sit up and having trouble breathing. I still don't feel good, but I'm out of COVID jail and trying to get moving.
I'm not cut out for lying around.
I wanted to start the year off by looking forward to the things I'm hoping to do rather than looking back at the year that was 2023, so that will be the next post.
I do an exercise with clients where we lay out the things they want to stop, decrease, maintain, increase, and start. It’s a good way to inventory our lives without focusing on our bad habits, so I will use it here.
Stop the News and Reddit
I've decided to remove the news and Reddit from my life in 2024.
Our five senses gather information about the world, and our mind craves information because it uses that information to keep us alive. This is awesome, but you'll notice that our senses can only gather information about our immediate surroundings.
In our modern world, most of the information we receive pertains to things happening hundreds, if not thousands, of miles away. Our brains do not have a way to cope with this information, so it's not only useless, it’s harmful.
This, combined with the fact that what we call news is propaganda and opinion pieces masquerading as facts, has created an environment where ordinary people report that they do not want to live next to people who disagree with them. The general fear and anxiety that is permeating our culture is now inescapable. I'm buying out of it.
I mention Reddit along with the news because it's my go-to website when I'm bored. Reddit is a toxic community. I've always said that if you want to learn to hate your hobby, follow it on Reddit.
I do follow some of my interests on there, but I've noticed that no matter what someone says, somebody has something snarky or cynical to say. Snark and cynicism are lazy, and I'm tired of them, so I'm out.
Decrease Short Form Content
Speaking of Reddit, I need to decrease the amount of short-form content I consume, and Reddit is the epitome of short-form content. I've always complained about how things like Instagram reels and TikTok are chipping away and our attention spans, but over the last 8 to 10 months, I’ve started consuming the same thing through Facebook stories and YouTube shorts.
I noticed how bad this has been over the few days of having COVID. I laid in bed for hours on end watching these 15 to 60-second videos on YouTube. Many of them are funny, and I always enjoy videos of people falling off of things or into things or kids being kids. I don't have a problem with that stuff. It's good to laugh.
I noticed a few other things, though. It was a flood of headline and sound bite-style bits of information about a topic, but my brain felt like it knew something about it. Usually, I'm a person who researches more about something that interests me, but I did not have the energy or the wherewithal to do it while I was sick, so a shallow understanding remained. Studies show this is how most of us get our news now (by only reading the headline), and I don't want to fall into that habit.
I also noticed the proliferation of videos where an AI voice reads an AI summary of the video, replaying different parts to stretch it to 60 seconds and increase the viewing time. These voiceovers over-explained things, added in elements that were not part of the actual situation, and drew it out in a redundant and condescending way.
The scarier part of the AI stuff was watching people discuss topics and endorse things they have never discussed or endorsed. This first jumped out at me when I watched a video of 50 Cent talking about why he and Eminem are no longer friends because Eminem now dresses like a "gay painter." Because I watch so many videos of people like 50 Cent, I knew he was actually talking about Jay Z, and whoever made the video had used editing techniques and AI to switch up the meaning.
Now, I get it; the relationship between 50 Cent and Eminem is not something any of us need to concern ourselves with, but it is scary that the media we all consume can be altered so it looks like a person said something they did not say, and it's only gotten worse.
Over the last few days, I've watched a variety of well-respected public figures with large followings speak about and endorse things that are contrary to what they usually speak about and endorse. We're at a point where it's still apparent that these are AI-generated videos, but it's getting harder and harder to tell. I don't want any part of that, and short-form content makes it easier since they don't have to take the time to create long videos.
I've also noticed that the more I consume short-form content, the harder it is for me to shift to long-form content. I’ve struggled to write this lengthy piece, and I struggled to pick up my book instead of hopping on YouTube. I want to bow out of this habit before it becomes too embedded.
Maintain Reading, Writing, and Business
I want to maintain my reading and writing habits because starting my day with them has been good for me. I didn't keep track of how many books I read last year, but it was a good number, and I don't even have a guess about how many words I wrote. I want to continue doing this.
I also want to maintain the changes in my business and allow it to evolve. Last year marked the shift away from individual life coaching to working more with companies, either by putting in time with the owner and multiple employees or by working with owners to help shift the direction of their business.
I've learned that I am good at stepping in and helping companies when they are starting, pivoting, or hitting a ceiling. I enjoy this work, and I look forward to everything that's on my schedule. I want to keep doing that.
Increase Responsiveness and Movement
One of my primary goals in 2024 is to get better at responding to people. If you have ever emailed or texted me, you know I need to be better about replying in a timely manner (if at all). I've had a few people tell me that I've hurt their feelings or made them feel unimportant by how long it takes me to reply, and I hate that.
I am bad about replying to people. This is not intentional. I rarely look at something somebody sends me and decide not to reply. I do that when somebody sends me something inappropriate, or it looks like they are trying to pick a fight, but those things are few and far between.
I get quite a few emails, and I have no idea how many texts I get. Email usually requires an investment of time and energy, which is what I like about it, but it also causes me to bump it to a time when I have a little more of that time and energy.
Texts require less time and energy, but I also feel like I am flooded with them a lot of the time. The usual process is that I see a text when I'm in the middle of something, often between clients or tasks, and I only have a minute or two, and I cannot reply.
I try to make a note to myself to remember it, but then it gets pushed down the line by other texts coming in. I've tried to establish the habit of going through my texts at night but never seem to get all the way down to the texts that came in at the beginning of the day.
All that is to say that I don't like making people feel like I'm ignoring them, so I will do better about that.
I also need to increase how much I move my body throughout the day. I'm sure I've talked about my back and neck problems on here, but it seems likely that I have a pinched nerve near my shoulder blade now. I've tried everything I can to address it without surgery, but I've asked my doctor to schedule an MRI. Nothing makes it stop hurting, but I do notice it gets worse when I don't move for a while.
I lived with pain for a while now, but a new pain always changes the dynamic, and I'm approaching the end of my tolerance for this dynamic. I realized I'm taking close to 400 ibuprofen a month right now, and I have to assume that can't be good for me. I've even started eating early in the morning so that I can take some ibuprofen to take the edge off of it, and this pain is the main reason I get out of bed now because it hurts when I lie down.
I want to start walking again, riding my bike, and getting back to the gym to see if this will help me feel better.
Start Therapy
Ugh, I'm not happy about this one, but I committed to a few people who I know will hold me accountable, so it's happening. I used to go to therapy a lot. My parents got me into therapy in my early teenage years, and I saw a therapist from then up until my mid-20s.
It helped me sort a lot of things out and deal with some difficult things, and my life got easier. I stopped going but realized I should start again around 2018. I've tried twice since then, but I only went long enough to take the edge off the things that were causing me trouble and then stopped. I tried to start doing EMDR, but my doctor said that the stress of that could kick my thyroid off again, and I'm not willing to risk that.
I don't have anything huge I need to deal with, but having someone to talk to and give me an outside perspective will be helpful. I want to figure out why I always want to be alone. I want to learn how to be more connected to other people. I’ve built up walls over the years, and I'd like to address them in a healthy way. One of the things I like about counseling and coaching is that I get to keep my walls by calling them boundaries, but it's not very helpful in my personal relationships.
Like I said, I'm not excited about it, but it's necessary. I'll let you know if it's helpful.
Alright, that's what I plan to stop, decrease, maintain, increase, and start in 2024. This has been a helpful way for me to look at the things I need to do. I'd love to hear about your plans for 2024 if you feel like sending me an email (I'll even reply).
I appreciate your patience. COVID surprised me, it was a lot tougher this time around.
James
Here's to a full recovery from COVID for you, James. Once again, simply through your post, you've been very helpful: the format of "stop, decrease, maintain, increase, and start" is a way forward to increased clarity in life and I'm grateful for this very clear and thorough 'plan' for self-examination and assessment. I look forward to what you'll share with us in 2024, and thanks for the wisdom you provide for my own journey.