Nuance Matters

Simple doesn’t always mean better.

Nuance has become a dirty word for some reason.

The echo chamber of social media has been pushing us out of the middle for a while, so the fringes have become competing ideas of normal instead of people we roll our eyes at. I even see people mocking others who refuse to choose sides on controversial issues and attacking them for not “taking a stand." God forbid you have a nuanced take on abortion, immigration, gender, mental health, race, or any number of other complex topics.

Nuance and Depth

Nuance is what allows for flexibility and adaptability. Flexibility and adaptability are what keep things from breaking under pressure. Being inflexible looks cool on paper, but it creates fragile ideas, fragile beliefs, and fragile people.

Nuance is difficult because you have to make bold statements to be heard in the noise of our modern culture, but bold statements are never completely true.

I’m sure you’ve heard some version of at least a few of these:

·      Cancel culture is destroying free speech. 

·      All billionaires are evil. 

·      All cops are bad. 

·      Everything wrong in the world is because of capitalism. 

·      Social media is ruining society. 

·      Science is always right.

Is there some truth in each of these?

Sure.

·      Younger people are more likely to believe that free speech is not a universal right.

·      Some billionaires and cops are bad people.

·      Capitalism is to blame for some of the problems in the world.

·      Social media is harmful in many ways, especially to teenagers.

·      The purpose of science is to pursue truth, independent of belief or ideology.

Do these statements need nuance?

Yes.

·      Many younger people are going against the grain and leaning into free speech. I’ve heard some of them using words I don’t even use as a member of Gen X.

·      I don't know any billionaires, but I know that many of them give away tremendous amounts of money and create opportunities with their wealth, especially in other countries. They may be indicative of structural inequality or something, but that is a systemic issue rather than an individual one.

·      Some of the best people I know are cops. This is anecdotal but disqualifies the word “all” in the original statement. Plus, if even a majority of the people responsible for law and order in our country were bad, we would be in real trouble.

·      Capitalism has led to an increased quality of life in many parts of the world, most likely including yours if you are reading this.

·      Social media connects people and presents amazing opportunities for learning when used well.

·      Science may pursue truth, but it will be wrong along the way. A good scientist acknowledges this. It is also not immune from outside influence.

It seems like it would be hard not to find some truth and some falsehood in any given statement. This is why nuance matters.

Nuance in What I Say

I don't want to lose the nuance in the things we've been talking about with opportunity and mindsets and open doors. I have to be able to present them in a clear way, but I want to start following them up with nuanced discussions of where they may and may not apply in your life. I am not dogmatic about them in my own life.

It may feel good to say something like “an opportunity has to be exciting for you to take advantage of it” and walk away, but that’s not a capital-T true statement. I do only pursue things that are exciting to me in my life, but there are layers to this. It's not always a simple one step process.

If I'm talking to a potential client and I'm not interested in the project they want to work on or it's not something that will benefit other people, I say no. If I am thinking that they will not follow through or they may need therapy first, I say no. This has worked out well for me. I want to be excited about the things I give my time and energy to.

I give myself leeway and allow for nuance in this rule, though.

My wife is in charge of creating and planning group events for her workplace, and she loves them. She would do some kind of group activity with the people she works with every week if they would let her. I am never excited about these events, but I am always excited about supporting my wife and seeing her enjoy her life, so I go. Sometimes I even have fun.

This applies to so many things. Bold, simple answers and statements are often comforting, but they often fall apart when we need them most.

Nuance is important and necessary even if it complicates things for us. In a world full of life hacks and quick fixes, we cannot let nuance disappear in our own lives.

We have to give ourselves the leeway and the grace we need to be humans.

We’ll keep diving into this.

James